Day One: AGAIN

Well, I started going to the gym again, this time in the form of personal training sessions. As if going to the gym AT ALL isn’t intimidating enough. But God made the direction clear, so that’s what we are doing. 

It can be so difficult for someone like me to walk into a gym, even if it’s owned by someone I love and is full of people I love. When I say, ‘someone like me’, I mean someone who doesn’t LOOK at all like your typical ‘go to the gym’ type person.  I have struggled with my weight my whole life.  I’ve been underweight, overweight, and everything in between.  Over the years, I’ve tried most every fad diet there is that comes around.  I am currently overweight, but the more concerning issue for me is the health problems that have come at this point in my life.  So, walking through the doors of a gym brings on ALL the insecurities.  It’s intimidating. It’s hard. All the discouraging things that try to wander through my head as reasons I shouldn’t go…they are there, and they are LOUD. 

Starting over AGAIN. I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve started over.  I think that makes it even harder to walk in than it was the very first time I came through those gym doors. Why, might you ask? Because, in my head, I’ve written all the other times off to failures. I started and failed. Started and failed. Started and failed. For one reason or another, life happened, I had health issues, just life stuff that keeps us busy.  And what seems worse is always the thoughts that have you imagining what people are thinking about you doing this same thing again.  Especially people who have watched you over the years, and they have seen all those failures.

Now, when I say I am imagining what people are thinking, I do still acknowledge that there are people who will have negative thoughts, words, and actions based on what we do, and maybe they ARE waiting for us to fail.  But our insecurities make it seem like EVERYONE is thinking those thoughts.  I think it was Eleanor Roosevelt who said, “You wouldn’t worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do.” 

I get it, though.  It doesn’t matter how much you tell yourself that it doesn’t matter what other people think; we are still human, and we are impacted by the world around us.

We have established that it’s just a given:  if you’re looking for discouragement, you don’t usually have to look too far.  There are plenty of “well-meaning” folks who like to remind you of all the reasons that you will never be successful in a gym setting. Whether it’s genetics, poor lifestyle choices, repeated failures, or all of the above…. The haters are usually pretty consistent and pretty loud. 

So, walking through a door that you’ve walked through before, knowing you messed up there so many times…. It’s just hard.

But one thing I’ve found is that there are plenty of cheerleaders out there, too. People who want to see you succeed. People who are cheering you on, even if you don’t realize it.  I’ve always said that the haters are louder than the cheerleaders, but I’m not sure that’s always accurate. 

Let me explain. 

I grew up in church, did all the church things, was taught that Jesus loved me, and I learned to love Him too.  I gave my life to Him as a young teenager, but when the enemy started to attack…. I didn’t know what to do. First off, I had no idea that things that were happening in the natural had anything to do with the spiritual. So many things I didn’t know. 

I did, however, know that the negative voices were so loud.  Sometimes so loud, I would have done anything to make them stop.

Some may argue that, if I was really a Christian, then those things wouldn’t have happened. As a matter of fact, there were people who actually said those things out loud to me.  I can look at those events now and think, how could anyone possibly believe that once you become a child of God, the enemy won’t attack?  What about the part of the Bible that tells us to be alert, because the enemy is prowling around like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour? 

Satan didn’t care a thing about me UNTIL I gave my life to Christ. THEN, there was a bullseye on my back. 

So, while the enemy was screaming at me, it wasn’t that God wasn’t there.  I hadn’t learned to tune my ear to His voice. I didn’t know how to put on the armor of God. I didn’t know how to fight in a spiritual battle. 

I am 53 years old now, and it has just been in recent years that I have learned, and will always be learning, how to listen for that still, small voice of my Father. 

The enemy can scream, but I know how to get to the secret place. I know how to talk to my Father and how to recognize Him talking to me.  I will never stop seeking to know Him more. It will never be enough until I see Him face to face.

So, in my time back at the gym, I’m not there to lose weight (which I still

need to do), or to keep up with anyone else. I’m there to get healthier and clean up the temple that God has given me. 

“I will not die; instead, I will live to tell what the Lord has done.”

Psalms 118:17 NLT

So, I don’t know if anyone besides myself needs this encouragement, but I’m sharing anyway. I know I will have to remind myself daily to not be discouraged. 

Just know up front, that there will always be haters, and they will always be loud. Or at least they will seem to be louder than anyone else, giving you so many reasons that what you are trying to do is not a good idea or maybe not even possible. 

But rest assured…. There are cheerleaders out there, too. People applauding your effort. People who are proud of you for the strength it takes to just walk through the door and have your day one.  Even if it’s the twentieth time. 

So, just like learning to quiet the voice of the enemy and tune our ears to the voice of our Heavenly Father, we have to learn to quiet the “haters” and the negative responses to our efforts and tune our ears to the voices that are cheering us on. 

I love you, my friends.